Well, that was quite a storm we experienced Wednesday night! I had an appointment to pick up our camper from storage in Castalia, and the moment I backed it into the driveway the town sirens started to sound. I just had time to unhitch and put the truck in the garage, and then, the fury of the winds came. The storm was relatively short, but it sure packed a punch! Thirty minutes later my property was covered in debris.
Among the debris were tons of dead limbs. I don’t know how my trees could have so many dead limbs, but apparently they do. Tiny limbs the size of a pencil and giant ones several inches in diameter were scattered everywhere. I secretly prayed for the limb-fairies to come clean up my yard, but alas, the next day they were all still there — and so the clean up began. We hauled several loads of limbs and leaves to our brush pile in the woods. Fortunately, it didn’t take too long to clean things up, and after the yard was mowed on Saturday there was no evidence of storm damage to be found.
Wouldn’t it be great if life was like that? How much simpler would it be if when the storms of life strike — all we have to do is clean up the debris and everything is back to normal. Recently, I was reminded of the mess relationship angst can make in a person’s life. Wounds inflicted by others oftentimes press deeply in our soul, causing sores that can fester for years. We can’t simply clean up the debris and have everything return to normal when we have been scarred by someone who ought to have loved us better.
Relationships have taught me one thing for certain… people will sometimes wound us. This certainty that I have experienced in life is why I find it so refreshing… yet so confounding… that relationships in Heaven will always be healthy and pure. But here, now in this broken world, sometimes we will experience the sting of betrayal as others fail to love well.
How do we navigate such a quagmire as Christians? Here are some thoughts that I have assembled over the years…
Everyone Is Broken — No one is perfect, right? While we might not sin in the same way…we all fail…we all sin. It’s important to remember that no one is capable of living a sinless life this side of Heaven.
Everyone Needs Grace — Aren’t you grateful that Jesus has freely extended his grace to you despite the sins you have committed? In the same way, Christians ought to think “grace” before they think “judgement.” Jesus said, “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.” Matthew 7:1-2 NLT When someone fails, always err on the side of grace over condemnation.
I Have Failed And Wronged Others Too — I haven’t wanted to do that… but I know I have. So when someone wrongs me, I need to remember that I have been guilty of the same sin.When Behavior Needs To Be Corrected Do It Prayerfully And Gently — I tend to be an emotional person, so when others wound me… or they fail because of a sin issue that needs to be addressed, I try to never respond when I am experiencing emotions over it — and NEVER through email or text. Paul writes, “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path.” Galatians 6:1 NLT There are three HUGE concepts in this little verse… godly, gently and humbly.
Avoid Putting People On Pedestals — Even the strongest Christian can stumble. When we equate someone as a spiritual giant, our faith can be rattled when they fail. The writer of Hebrews tells us to “Fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith.” (12:2) Yes, other Christians can be a spiritual encouragement to us… but they are not Jesus… refuse to view them as such.
Always Act In Love — Many people who fail spiritually know that they have failed. Perhaps more than needing someone to point out their failure, they might need someone to love them through it. Jesus said, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:35 NLT
Perhaps putting some of these thoughts into practice can help us clean up the debris left from relationship friendly fire. It won’t be as easy as picking up some dead sticks, but we can work through hurts in our life in a healthy manner. One more thing… sometimes… when the wounds run extra deep… qualified help may be needed. If you have been triggered today, I am sorry… but we as your church would like to help provide you with help. Please ask us.
May we honor God well… by treating others well.
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